ah well, what can i say. i thought it was about time i wrote something new here. i'm not really a journal-keeping sort of person because i think i have a hard time writing a message to "nobody in particular." yeah, that's a lame excuse

i wanted big change this year, and holy fuck, did i ever get it. i live on my own now, for the first time. got myself an apartment just off ave. mont-royal, 3 blocks from the metro station. such an amazing location. i'm really beginning to like city living. i've been here about 3 months now, and it doesn't feel so surreal anymore.

living in my own, being on my own and making making a lot of changes to my lifestyle is really starting to have its effect. i feel more introverted, and i suppose, more in touch with my real nature than i was before. more calm too. that's not to say i don't still have stresses, but i'd much rather have these stresses than the ones i had last year. or the year before. i'm past the rocky start now, i've proven a few things to myself, and i consider this a completely new chapter in my life. i'm happy about this.

as such though, i've been busy. and i know i've been neglecting my creative side. i haven't taken any good photos in months and months... but the dry spell will be over soon. as all this snow melts away i'll wake up from my little creative hibernation. i'm itching to get out there... and i will relate my observations, my visions and my experiences to you in the best way that i can, using whatever i can. promise.

so my job search that lasted mostly all summer is finally over. one company decided to give me a chance.

i now officially have the best and most serious job i've ever had i've been hired at an e-commerce company that manages online storefronts for a number of big-name boutiques, retailers and brands. i work all week and earn salary and bonuses and benefits. howww much salary exactly? let's just say... more than that teacher who told me i would amount to nothing.

i'm very excited and happy about it... i have something stable and secure now, that will enable me to finally start living my life, making some of these things happen that i've been dreaming about for years. i'm looking at the future with anticipation. after i've gathered enough momentum, who knows what's possible?

[link]

explore it and tell me what you think

soooo my 8-month stint in the chateauguay theatre project is over. the main accomplishment of our time there was a completely original play, written and performed entirely by us, called Stiletto Crush. i'll upload some info and shots from the play soon

we started out not knowing each other at all, really. but amazing friendships have formed since then. i'm gonna miss it.

at the end of the program everyone received a $500 bonus. with mine i'm buying a rebel xti.

so what's my summer gonna look like... well, in the past few weeks i've had the amazing opportunity to make one of my hidden passions public -- my mixing. i mix tech, electro, progressive, minimal... and now that i have what amounts to a residency at a club, i can now call myself a DJ with confidence.

i mix most saturday nights at Le Chill in montreal, on st. laurent corner beaubien. come check it out

my new job starts monday... boring phone sales job. :/ but it'll finance all my new toys and gadgets and, in a few months, i'll get my own place in the city. a nice place too

all in all, i'm feeling pretty damn good. i had some whole years that absolutely sucked (2005 i'm looking at you), but now i feel like things are -really- coming together. i get to spend most of my time doing the things i love... and once i get that camera, it's allllll over. i'll take the best photos i've ever taken. and of course i'll post the best of them here. when jon and i mix at the chill, we're rock stars. they roll out the red carpet for us and everyone respects us and wants to talk to us i'll be at piknic electronik probably most sundays too...

by all accounts this is gonna be one hell of a summer.

dear xx,

you have the cutest sparkly eyes, you know that?

there was this one time you came walking towards me outside, and the sun was in your face, lighting up your hair, and you were smiling. i thought i was going to melt. you never knew it, but i loved that moment... it seems like such a silly thing, doesn't it? but by now, there are lots of moments i can remember, just like that one.

i like to think about distant possibilities. i hope one day soon we can work on some kind of amazing creative project together... just you and i. our souls could intertwine, even if it's just long enough to create something extraordinary and beautiful...

i imagine us wandering around the city on one of those gorgeous montreal summer days... taking photos and exploring and getting into all kinds of trouble. after the sun sets we'd spend the warm evening sitting at a terrasse, sharing a bottle of booze, laughing together and having so much fun. i imagine us late that night, holding each other so closely, slowly falling asleep together... i'm laying there next to you, gently playing with a few strands of your hair, smiling to myself, thinking about the kind of adventure we'd have the next day...

sometimes, as i'm falling asleep in my bed, i go over all these familiar thoughts and feelings and i imagine how things could be, maybe, one day... there are times when it feels like a fire inside of me, still burning and consuming from the day i first met you. when it feels like i'm gonna die if i don't let you know, somehow.

i suspect... that a little part of you still knows it, too. every time i look into your sparkly eyes, a part of me thinks about it... i wonder if you realize it?

there was even a time when you said to me that you felt the same, and one night, you wanted to kiss me. we came so close... my heart was beating so fast, and my whole world stopped...

i wonder what would have happened if we kissed that night? i must have replayed that moment a thousand times in my mind.

it's too bad that you belong to someone else... because i don't know if i'll ever find another one like you.